November
As I was walking, I came upon this little mound, about 20 feet by 20 feet. It had a covered picnic table area. It was very small. But the mound was completely burned. All the grasses and shrubbery were black and gone. I felt the Lord really wanted me to look at this and see this. Just then some park people came by and explained to me how they thought some kids had burned it and even though it looked bad, the root system was still there. And the organisms in the soil were still there. And now they had a chance to play on some other things that they wanted to. I told them I was going to write a song about this burnt-out place and use some of the ideas they shared with me.
But as I walked away, I heard the Lord say to me that he wanted me to write about the burned-up places in my life. Oh I love to write the beauty of God, his majesty, his redemption, but not so much about the darkness of my own life. But I do have a lot I can write about when looking at the darkness my own life.
So once again it was a beautiful time being with the Lord. Turning my face up to look at him, as all nature does. And knowing, that he has his face turned towards me and is looking directly into my face. Yes it was beautiful!
November
Today was really chilly and overcast. The water looked great, but I could barely see any ducks. I am so enjoying all the birds around here. Especially the Canadian geese. They are like the teenagers of the bird world.
- They hang out in groups
- They like to make a lot of noise
- They are constantly looking for a better place to hang out
- They love to honk at other geese flying overhead and get them to come down and join them in making even more noise.
But the Lord spoke to me about music. He told me that the kingdom of love is full of music. And actually, that music is love and love is music.
I told him that I wanted to learn how to hear his music. And he answered that it's around me everywhere. It's one of his great gifts he's given to us from heaven - from him. And he gives it to people who are never once going to use it for him. But he still gives this incredible gift.
And then I realized that I had been one of those people. I have this great gift of music and yet my whole life I have used it for myself. Now I didn't use it to speak evil or promote violence or out and out sin. But still I was still using it for myself.
When I come out here to my little lake, I start feeling my mind sorting itself out. I need that. I need to get sorted. I can't sort my mind out at home. There are too many incumbrancers there. Wow, that makes me think of Hebrews 12:1, Let us remove the incumbrancers and run the race. I so want to run the race. But I have all these incumbrancers.
October
Wow! Today an amazing thing happened. Everything is so beautiful here with the leaves all in full autumn glory. It is a feast for the eyes. I have so loved coming to this peaceful little lake.
As I was walking past several trees next to the path, the Lord asked me to stop and step into the branches of leaves. I snuggled into the leaves until they almost completely surrounded me. They were all bright yellow, large and soft and so fragrant. It was a special moment.
But then the Lord said to me, “Look around. Look at the tree in front of you. This is my kingdom of love.”
In front of me stood a magnificent tree, so elegant and gorgeous. This tree is the Kingdom of his love? I sense so deeply that he is telling me something so profound! That rocked me! This is the kingdom of his love? What does that even mean? I think I might sort of understand a little. But I get the feeling that there is SO much more to discover and…and enter into.
Here are a couple of thoughts I’m seeing already:
- The kingdom of God’s love is going to be everywhere that God is, right? It must be. It really can’t be any other way. He is the creator and eternal source of love. And he is the King! And so, it follows that because God is everywhere, his kingdom of love is everywhere! Wow!!! That is incredible and beautiful and my heart is wrench with the wonder of it! So, yes it’s in this peaceful place. But it’s everywhere else as well. That thought is SO BIG that I think I could write a book about the fullness of its meaning.
- A second thought came to me right after that first one. And that is that the kingdom of God’s love exists near, next to, around, inside, throughout the kingdom of darkness. And I stand at the doorway between the two kingdoms. I can choose. I can step into love, light, joy, goodness and peace or turn to the kingdom of darkness, shame, emptiness and worthlessness.
October
Today I drove to the Rec center not too far away from our house. Only about 10 minutes. And here is a little lake! With a lovely sidewalk path around it. And it is so quiet here. Even though, it is in the middle of the city. There are big trees all around. The lake, ha! Lake! It is barely a pond. But it is shaped with all these extended parts so the walkway winds around quite a bit. You can only see so much at a time. This gives it even a strong feeling of privacy. Oh, there is so much peace here! There is an elementary school not too far away and I can hear the kids’ happy sounds when they are at recess.
From a certain angle, I can see all kinds of reflections in the water. It is a reflection of all kinds of things, depending on your position. Some of the reflections are so crystal clear, it is no doubt exactly what you are looking at. That made me wonder about what I am reflecting on.
October
Then this morning, two things happened. Wow, I didn’t realize it was two things!
The first was when I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to look up beautiful places that I can nurture stillness in. I found three places I can get to in less than 15 minutes and another one that is 20 minutes. This filled me with so much joy. Then came the wonderful idea that I need to START my week doing this every Monday morning. Yes, that rang through me in such a wonderful way. Start with stillness!
The second thing just happened a few minutes ago. I have low energy today and have been doing a lot of sitting. I’m trying to listen to my body more. It felt so good to just sit and be quiet. That’s when I realized I have a genuine need for stillness. I NEED it! But all my life, I have denied that so I can be racing around like everyone else.